


Stars and Tears

by mirela



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bad Ending, Dubious Consent, Koujaku Bad Ending, M/M, i blame the ending's song for this, i'm sorry i'm a terrible person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 14:51:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10467579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirela/pseuds/mirela
Summary: "This should be fine," Aoba said, his voice as reassuring as his smile was, but those words made Koujaku's blood run cold. "It should be fine," Aoba repeated, leaning in for another kiss.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't wanna sound dramatic but I literally cried while writing this. So here, suffer with me.

"Hey! That tickles!" Aoba giggled as he felt Koujaku's lips press against the back of his neck.

 

Ever since Koujaku cut his hair Aoba has felt a bit weird about it. It was a drastic change for him after all, and his head even felt lighter than before. But it wasn't a bad thing, really, it was actually quite... refreshing. Yes, that was the word. And then you had moments like these when Koujaku took every opportunity to kiss the back of his neck and make him giggle like a child.

 

"Hm?" Koujaku hummed, moving his head to the side a bit and resting his chin on Aoba's right shoulder. "I was just kissing you," he said innocently.

 

Aoba rolled his eyes and shook his head at that, a small smile curving his lips. "You're such a jerk," he muttered, but there was no malice in his words. There never was.

 

Koujaku just chuckled in response and the arms that were wrapped around Aoba's middle tightened their hold a bit. They had visited this open spot outside the Old Residential District for a walk, but it ended in them staying for the night just to watch the stars. Koujaku was seated behind him, while Aoba was seated between his boyfriend's legs, back pressed against Koujaku's warm chest. Aoba moved his hand up and gently ran his fingers through Koujaku's hair absent-mindedly.

 

"Look!" Aoba exclaimed, sounding like an excited child as he pointed up at the sky with his other hand. "Isn't that the planet Jupiter over there?"

 

Koujaku lifted his chin from Aoba's shoulder and looked up at the night sky, red eyes searching through the stars until they found a big, orange one pulsing with a light brighter than the rest. But it wasn't a star, it indeed was the planet Jupiter, and a warm smile appeared on Koujaku's lips.

 

"And if you look slightly above it, I think that's the Leo constellation," Aoba kept on, his hand pointing somewhere above the bright orange orb. "See those three stars that are just below each other in a slight curve? They form the tail," he kept explaining.

 

Koujaku doesn't really remember Aoba knowing a whole lot about stars and planets and all of that, but he still listens as Aoba explains the patterns of the Leo constellation.

 

"That's your star sign," Aoba mused, that faint smile still on his lips.

 

Koujaku looked down at Aoba and raised his brows as the puzzle pieces finally connected. "W-wait, so you're saying...," he stuttered, unable to finish his question.

 

Aoba looked up at him, his smile growing a bit bigger and more earnest. "Yeah," he whispered, leaning his forehead against Koujaku as he saw the older man lean in for a kiss. He felt Koujaku's lips press softly against his forehead, and a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. "I've never really had much of a chance to observe the stars," he continued, moving his gaze back on the constellation. "So I figured now that we know there's a spot with a clear view of the sky, why not do just that? So I looked it up, the Leo constellation... And here we are." He looked back at Koujaku again.

 

Koujaku wasn't really sure how to respond to that. Why'd Aoba go to all the trouble just to study one constellation? Well, it _was_ his star sign, but he honestly doubted that was the only reason Aoba did what he did. _There's no point in trying to figure it out, really_ , he thought, _he definitely did it out of curiousity... and maybe even love._ Yeah. That was definitely it.

 

"Thank you, Aoba," Koujaku smiled, moving one hand up to cup Aoba's chin and lift his head a bit. He leaned down and pressed their lips together in a brief, loving kiss. He slightly opened his eyes, looking at Aoba's face while they kissed, and he felt a tightness in his chest at the sight.

 

This was Aoba, _his Aoba_ , his childhood friend, the one who Koujaku has vowed to protect from any and all harm that would dare come his way. He knew that Aoba sometimes voiced his concerns over getting too pampered by Koujaku without giving anything in return, and Koujaku always assured him that none of that would ever be needed, that just having Aoba by his side like this was more than enough.

 

_I will never take from you, Aoba. And you will not owe me anything._

 

Koujaku felt Aoba pull away from the kiss slowly, but before he could react Aoba was already moving away from his lover's embrace and turning around, now on his knees, to face Koujaku. Aoba placed his hands on Koujaku's shoulders and leaned down for another kiss, this time a bit deeper, and Koujaku responded in kind to the gesture, albeit a bit surprised at this change of pace.

 

"Ao-.. mhn..," Koujaku tried calling to him, but Aoba's lips on his were kind of making it difficult. Thankfully Aoba took the cue and pulled away from the kiss, amber eyes studying Koujaku's face attentively, a smile on his beautiful lips. "Here?" he asked, chuckling a bit at the thought of them being out in the open like this.

 

"This should be fine," Aoba said, his voice as reassuring as his smile was, but those words made Koujaku's blood run cold. "It should be fine," Aoba repeated, leaning in for another kiss.

 

Koujaku was too slow to react and, before he knew it, Aoba had placed his hands on Koujaku's shoulders and pushed him down on the grass, straddling his hips. Koujaku tried to push Aoba off, but it was to no avail. _This isn't right_ , a voice in his head reminded him, and Koujaku knew it had a point, that those words that Aoba just muttered sounded _wrong_.

 

An image flashed in his mind's eye of them back at Oval Tower, back when Aoba had used Scrap on him. Koujaku's mind, in one last ditch effort to ignore reality, had sucked them both into an illusion where everything was fine – Aoba had accepted him fully for who he was, they were together and happy, and everything was just as Koujaku had always imagined it. But now the memories became clearer – how Aoba, in his own confusion, could not get Scrap under control and was therefore unable to pull Koujaku out.

 

_He couldn't pull me out. It was all because I refused to face reality and accept it._

 

That is why the more this Aoba pulled at Koujaku's kimono and tried to get him at least half undressed, this Aoba that kept pressing kisses all over Koujaku's face and neck, that kept that creepy yet somewhat reassuring smile on his face was definitely _not_ the real Aoba. Koujaku's entire body was trembling, his fists were clenched, and his eyes were wide as he tried to squirm away. _This isn't real... it isn't real..._ , he kept repeating to himself, but it didn't seem to have much of an effect.

 

"This is fine," Aoba repeated again, his voice kind, and leaned down to capture Koujaku's lips in another deep kiss.

 

This was wrong. Tears pricked at the corners of Koujaku's eyes and he lifted his hands up, pushing at Aoba's chest until he finally got the other man off of him enough so that he could get up and move away from him. Aoba, now sitting on the grass and looking up at him with confusion on his face, tilted his head a bit.

 

"Koujaku?" he asked, a mask of innocence slipping on his face. "What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?" he again asked, reaching out with one hand towards him.

 

"No!" Koujaku snapped, raising his voice and taking another step back. "Not like this! You're not real, none of this is!" he yelled, fists trembling at his sides as he tried to fight back the tears. This was all wrong, so fucking wrong, and it made him sick.

 

He couldn't take it anymore. Tears rolled down his cheeks without pause, anger and disgust rose inside of him, and he could feel the bitter taste of bile at the back of his throat. _This is all my fault. I was too stupid to listen to Aoba when I had the chance to_ , his mind reeled. He felt weak in the knees, felt himself give into the pressure, and felt the sharp pain shoot up from where his knees hit the ground when he kneeled. His shoulders hunched forward and shook as sobs wrecked his body. He could faintly hear footsteps approach him, but his body refused to move, while his mind yelled at him to turn around and run.

 

_Where would I run to? This is all in my head._

 

He felt a gentle hand grip his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but his entire body wanted to flinch away from the touch. The spot where Aoba touched him now burned, and his mind screamed at him to push Aoba away, but his body still stubbornly refused to move. All Koujaku could do was just sit there and feel more than see as Aoba wrapped his arms around Koujaku's neck, pushed him back a bit and straddled his hips once more.

 

"Koujaku... Koujaku...," he kept whispering, and the tears never stopped falling from Koujaku's eyes.

 

He screamed.

 

He kept screaming and trying to push Aoba away, but his entire body was frozen in one place. It was like he was tied down, unable to do more than just scream his soul out. Why did it have to happen like this? Why was he so goddamn stubborn when all Aoba wanted was to help him? _Why didn't I listen when I had the chance?_ Koujaku shut his eyes and pressed his head in Aoba's shoulder, the sobs still shaking his entire body. He could faintly hear a growl, and it took him a few moments to realize that it was coming from his own throat.

 

_Why am I growling?_

 

Koujaku was clenching his teeth, a growl was bubbling from his chest and the back of his throat, and his hands were held by something behind his back. He could barely move them, save for the few twitches of his fingers. He even felt that he was now properly seated on the ground instead of kneeling like before, there was something heavy on his lap, and when he lifted his head up his eyes widened.

 

_Aoba._

 

But this Aoba... was that even him? He was entirely white, save for the few red ornaments on his robes. There was a blush to his cheeks, clearly visible on the pale skin, and a very wide smile on his face. His pupils were blown wide, and moans escaped his parted lips.

 

"Koujaku... Koujaku...," this Aoba kept repeating in a sweet, lust-filled voice, and Koujaku could feel his own traitorous body react to those words.

 

A feeling of dread made Koujaku's heart sink as he realized what Aoba was doing to him, but he was powerless to act against it. While his own body enjoyed it, his mind certainly didn't, and he felt like his body was not his anymore. He felt the shackles around his wrists, the lenght of his claws, the sharpness of his canines, and heard the growls and snarls that escaped through his clenched teeth.

 

_This is it. There's no going back. I'm already gone._

 

All he could do was watch helplessly as the beastly instincts and primal desire controlled his body, feel his own teeth sink into Aoba's shoulder when the latter leaned forward to wrap his arms around Koujaku's neck, and he finally let himself sink into darkness. _I don't want to look at this. I'm never coming back._


End file.
